I’ve already covered The Monkey Apocalypse in a previous post; it’s a mind game where I decide how well modern technology could fare if a disaster (unnatural or otherwise) should befall mankind.
Most of the gadgets are suitable for at most a few weeks in the wilderness but fall hopelessly short of full on apocalypse survival. Here is my appraisal:
- Wind-Up Radio (3/10)
I like the fact that it does not rely upon batteries and has a built in flashlight. I’m not sure about the choice of radio frequencies; it would get a 10/10 if it included long and short wave AM bands plus the ability to power other devices off the dynamo.
- Headlamp (1/10)
I use these whilst camping; brilliant until the battery expires. You can get wind-up LED headlamps which would get a higher rating.
- Portable External Battery Charger (1/10)
What do you do when the mains power runs out? Doh!
- Extra Cellphone Battery (1/10)
The cellphone network will be the first thing to be destroyed by those damn dirty apes.
- Solar Charger (6/10)
Now it starts getting proper interesting; this is the kind of device I’d like to have knocking around for when the power stations go offline, but like most of these “survival” devices it seems to be more about powering a 21st Century lifestyle for a few extra days rather than living in the hills off your wits and animal traps.
- UV-Powered Water Filter (8/10)
I’ve heard about these; a good way to ensure you don’t get ill from drinking stream water. There are less technical alternatives too.
- Waterproof Cases & Bags (1/10)
Bah. All you need is a waterproof tin to keep your tinder dry.
- LED flashlights (2/10)
I suppose you could use a big one as a club when the batteries run out.
- Automotive Jump Start (2/10)
It would be useful if you could hook this up to a wind or solar power generator to store charge. The only reason this gets a 2 is because I’ve seen “I Am Legend”. I’d use it to jump start high performance cars for a bit of fun.
- SpareOne Phone (1/10)
A brilliant piece of engineering made redundant by a broken cellphone network.
- Gas Powered Space Heater (4/10)
I quite like this. As long as you can keep stocks of propane then this little gadget’d keep you warm whilst you figure out how to light proper fires.
- Bottle Cap Light (9/10)
These are truly brilliant, pardon the pun.
- BioLite Stove (6/10)
I’m quite fond of this but it does look quite fragile. I’d use this short term, like the gas powered space heater, to keep things ticking.
In summary, the above gadgets are brilliant for short camping trips, hurricane level disasters or at most the first few weeks of a monkey apocalypse. However there is no substitute for learning proper survival skills, more of which later…